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Kinda like a survey. Bold if false, leave if not. My late night singing sessions made me want to watch titanic I don’t think that was the best and most fun idea ever I have never really left something without completely destroying it first I know how to break that habit I was told everyday last week exactly what I needed to hear from God I know this calling from God is real because it’s kept me running away from it this long, and only things that I truly fear are worth that much effort. I believe that even if you aren’t chasing the bad, if you aren't chasing the good you will fall into the bad.
I know where to go from here.
I have made the commitment to acknowledge God as not just a savior and friend but as a Lord and a Lover. I believe this means being motivated by chains of love and sacrifice. I am the owner of my body, my heart, and my actions. I am prone to overlook the bad when I shouldn’t be and hold onto the bad when I need to let it go. I regret everything I didn’t fail miserably at trying to convince myself otherwise. Sometimes I do stupid things or let myself get really depressed just to see how much I can handle I think that is a healthy thing to do I am going to have faith that if I give God my complete obedience He will take care of my emotions that I have no clue how to protect anyways. I had a great week with Garfield and he made me feel really valued I heard the phrase “you will lose a friend” or “let go” in about 3498383 different ways. I know exactly what to do with that knowledge I know that I have lived a faith of a toddler for far too long because I have been afraid to leave the babies. I think Shannon is really wise and thank God for it. I am mourning the death of me, but am excited for life as God intended. I have an incredible devotional ‘There is no limit to what God can do if you are not seeking your own glory.” I am petrified of failing I find anything that holds me back from God worth it, including fear of failure, fear of leaving others behind or fear of looking like an idiot. I will wait upon the Lord And I sang that song and smiled and lifted my hands not in frustration for the first time =)…. And did so without laughing at myself I think Hebrews 5:11 was too applicable to my life (We have so much to say about this but it’s hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of Gods words all over again.) Matthew 13:15 is stopping me from force feeding people other things like the book of Isaiah, or Ephesians 5. I can share with everyone the experience I’ve had that completely captured me in a way that captures them. That is how I know it is a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. I don't want it - No - I can't want it anymore
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
I'm through accepting limits
cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost! As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
......................................................................
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
And make me empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled fromthe wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight life
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
Than this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
I fail.
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